Guy Gardner: Warrior #29: It’s My Party and I’ll Fight If I Want To


TGH: Welcome back to DC’s greatest triumph! The last time we checked in with Guy, he was hot on the trail of his brother, the renowned villain Militia. Guy thought he killed him, but it turned out it was a robot, then 10 minutes later he was actually killed by Major Force, so Guy slashed his throat open and murdered him! With such a heavy deed on his conscience, how will Guy manage to continue his job as a hero? By throwing a huge party apparently, because fuck all that other noise! Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #28: Deck the Hood with Blows of Folly


TGH: Welcome back to one of the most popular comics about a Warrior whose name is also Guy Gardner. Top ten, easily. Last week Guy and Steel fought some rando that the Quorum unleashed for some reason, and then randomly decided to visit his mom, only to find that Major Force killed her and stuffed her into a fridge, which was apparently his thing for a while, before it was decided by everyone on Earth that it was a horrible, horrible thing. Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #27: Wake-Up Call


TGH: Welcome back as we march forward through the epic saga of Guy Gardner: Warrior! Last week Guy stopped pirates from killing the president. This time Guy and Steel get in a fight while some new guy gets stuck in a door, if the cover is any indication (it usually is not).

QP: I don’t know what this gentleman is thinking. That doorway is clearly marked “Slendermans Only.” Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #26: Snakebit!


TGH: Welcome back to the gift that keeps on giving! Last week, Guy had to fight his evil dwarf fetus half-brother in dreamland to save his asshole full-brother and some girl he had sex with before getting drunk and putting her in a coma. Once he saved them, however, the shadowy government group that turned Mace into the ultimate ’90s badass Militia kidnapped him back for some reason (possible Militia-related reasons). With Guy’s brother missing yet again, will Guy find the clues to save him in time? Haha just kidding, Guy decides to hang out in his new bar instead.

Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #25: Family Ties


TGH: Hello again, and welcome back to this week’s incredible Guy Gardner experience. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Gee, Mr. TGH, this is the greatest comic ever, but isn’t a little too short?” Well, it looks like your prayers have been answered this week, because we’ve got a Double Issue!

QP: Yes, I pray to the dark lord Azathoth, why do you ask?

TGH: Maybe ask for money next time, readers.

QP: That was next on my list. Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #0: Once Upon a Time


TGH: Welcome to a very special issue of Guy Gardner: Warrior! By special, I of course refer to the fact that this is issue #0, set right after the events of the completely batshit Zero Hour saga, an event that essentially rebooted the DC Universe, except for all of the parts that didn’t reboot at all! Unfortunately, Guy Gardner’s name came up in the drawing, and so his powers had to be rewritten. Which is great because Beau Smith JUST finished giving him new powers right before Zero Hour started! Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #24: Killing Time


TGH: Welcome to another adventure of our favorite surly ex-Lantern! The last time we met up with Guy, he had gained mysterious new powers by drinking strange water that he found in the jungle (kids, don’t try this at home). Surely with a brand new power set, there will be plenty for Guy to figure out this issue. Oh wait, never mind, it’s another goddamn crossover event. Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #23: Wet Dreams


TGH: And now, another tale well-calculated to keep you in…Suspense! Last time we met, our hero, who usually fights crime with a magic space ring, went to South America to find some magic Earth water to give him new powers. Unfortunately, he ran into a slight snag in his plan, in the form of a dinosaur-riding suicide-bomber Nazi. I hate when that happens!

QP: Always have suicide bomber Nazi dinosaur riders covered on your travel insurance!

TGH: As we saw last issue, our Nazi enemy hit the button on his explosive vest, immediately blowing up the bar and everyone in it. So, how is Guy getting out of this one? By entirely rewriting the sequence of events to match an idea you came up with since last month, that’s how! Continue reading