JLA #102: Break-Out!

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TGH: Welcome back, loyal readers, to Part 5 of the Guy Gardner crossover! We are getting closer! Last time, we met Probert, who was better at being Guy Gardner than Guy Gardner, and the Tormocks took an entire issue to kidnap pretty much everyone. It was the dramatic twist at the end of a normal comic stretched out over an entire issue! This issue, there will apparently be some sexy tentacle time!

QP: This issue was DC’s attempt to reach out to the hentai fanbase. Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #33: Into the Valley of Death

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TGH: Welcome back to the Hump Issue of this damn Guy Gardner crossover! Last time, three completely unrelated events happened as our team moved towards some unknown location in space to fight the Tormocks. What unrelated event will happen this issue I wonder?

QP: Based on the cover, it looks like they’ll probably all turn into stars or something.

BW: Guy: “We are all made of stars.”
J’onn: “No. I am made of Chocos.” Continue reading

Hawkman #22: Storm Over Thanagar

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TGH: Welcome back to an exciting issue of Hawkman! Last week, Hawkman blew two holes in the JLA’s spaceship while they are on the way to stop the Tormocks from destroying Earth. Now that the ship doesn’t work anymore, they’re forced to land on Hawkman’s shitty home planet of Thanagar so we can hear more about Hawkman. Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior Annual #1: Battle From Within

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TGH: Welcome back, readers, as we begin our death march into a super long crossover and slowly make our way to the eventual end of the series. It will not be without its difficulties, however, as the next stop before we actually get back into the crossover is Guy Gardner: Warrior Annual #1. I guess fighting the Kraggz made Guy fall to pieces, so this issue deals with him being healed yet again. Funny, since not fighting them made him go crazy that one time too, so I guess maybe the Vuldarians are assholes. Guys, I admit we’ve been pretty hard on these comics as we’ve gone, but believe me when I say that this is Not A Good Comic Book. Like, this one almost broke me. Luckily for all of us, this is a really long issue too, so any pain is only amplified. Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #32: Give Me a Space to Call My Own

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TGH: Welcome to a brave new post-Byrd world with issue 32 of Guy Gardner: Warrior! Last issue Mitch Byrd took a dump in the boss’s office and ran away with his colorist, and every person who ever worked for DC, artist or not, had to chip in to finish the Dementor story. Now that we’ve dedicated this issue to only a small handful of temporary artists instead of a panicked boatload, how will the book fare?

DN: Spoiler warning: not very well. Continue reading

Guy Gardner: Warrior #31: Channel Surfin’ a Nighmare

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TGH: We’re back with another groundbreaking display of storytelling! Last week, Superman completely failed to help anyone, so Dementor showed up at the last second to give us some sort of damn story to follow up on this week. I’m sure this will be as funny as it is action-packed! Considering that the cover is a “tribute” to Kirby’s Fantastic Four #1 cover, I think we’re off to a great start! Continue reading

Memorial Day Spectacular! Justice League #45: Hell On Ice!

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TGH: Welcome to another special edition of Guy Gardner! Since it’s Memorial Day weekend and most sane people would rather not read awful Guy Gardner: Warrior comics, we’ve decided to review another classic JLA issue instead. An issue in which Guy Gardner somehow manages to talk Ice into yet another date after the last complete disaster. Continue reading

Action Comics #709: Crime Tunnel! or When Warriors Strongly Disagree!

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TGH: Welcome, shirtless superhero aficionados, to another issue of Guy Gardner: Warrior! And by that, I mean Action Comics, because they are spreading this story as far across the DC Universe as possible. Last time, Guy had a nonsensical party at his new bar, and then freaked out about something off-screen. This time he is apparently beating the shit out of Superman. I’m sure the story will fill in the blanks at some point! Continue reading